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People say they can't live without Love. I think oxygen is more important.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

We live in world of smart phones and stupid people.

Bathrooms have changed from being a singing studio to a photo studio.

Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money. :').

Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.

I�m cool but global warming made me hot.

My ex wrote to me: Can you delete my number? I responded: Who is this?

If at first, you don�t succeed..Keep flushing.

Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.

I am not lazy, I just rest before I am tired.

You are so awesome that, my middle finger salutes you.

Good girls are bad girls, who never get caught.

If you can�t convince them, confuse them.

I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.

Intelligence is like an underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off.

Is Google a woman? Because it won't let you finish your sentence without coming up with other suggestions.

Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick.

Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or you're taking shit from some asshole.

I sometimes watch birds and wonder "If I could fly who would I shit on?"

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