Funny English Jokes

Boy: Where are you going now?
Girl: For Suicide..
Boy: Then, Why so much Make-up?
Girl: You Idiot... Tomorrow My Photo will come in Newspaper..!

An Old man had 8 hairs on his head.
He went to a Barber shop.
Barber anger and asked:
Shall I cut or count?
Old man smiled and said:
"Colour it!"
LIFE is to enjoy with whatever you have with you.

Boy: I checked yesterday that I don't have any iron in my body
Girl: How did you check?
Boy: I checked with a Magnet, it was not sticking to me..!

Boy: Marry Me..?
Girl: Do you have a House...?
Boy No.
Girl: Do you have a BMW Car..?
Boy: No.
Girl: How much is Your Salary?
Boy: No Salary, But..
Girl: No But... You have Nothing. How can I Marry You? Leave Please!!
Boy: (talking to Himself) I have one Villa, 3 Property Lands, 3 Ferrari's, 3 Porches� Why would I need to have a BMW? How could i get a Salary When I'm the Boss!
& The Girl Lost her Chance.

The Teacher asked for sentence using the Word "beans".
Girl: "My Father Grows beans".
Boy: "My Mother Cooks beans".
Then a Third Child Spoke up and said, "We are all human beans..."

Teacher: Why are you Late Today?
Student: Because of sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Student: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"

Teacher: Correct the Sentence
�A Bull and Cow is Grazing in the Field"
Student: �A Cow and Bull is Grazing in the Field"
Teacher: How?
Student: Because Ladies First. LOL

Girl Boy Whatsapp Jokes

Girl : ??????? ??? ?????
Boy:- Six Gun.
Girl : ?? ???? ??..?
Boy:- ???
Girl:- ??? ???? ???? ???????
Boy:- ??????
Girl:- Cow Dance ?? ???.
Boy:- ?? ?? ???? ??!!!
Girl:- ???????? ? ???.

Boy :- ???? ?? ??? ??? ???? ??? ?? ???????..
Girl :- Banana.
Boy: ?? ???? ?????
Girl: ??? ??!
Girl :- ?? ??? ?? ???????? ???..!
Boy :- Alone.
Girl :- ???? ?
Boy :- Akela..!

Boy:- ?????? ???? ???? ?? ???? ?? ??????...? ?? ???? ????? ???
Girl:- Kiss.
Boy:- ?? ???? ??..?
Girl:- Papi.
Boy :- ???? ?? ????? ?? ???? ??????
Girl:- Mango.
Boy :- ?? ?? ???? ??..?
Girl:- mango.

Boy :- ???? ?? ??? ??? ??? ???? ?? ??? ??? ?? ?????..!
Girl :- Cap.
Boy :- ?? ???????
Girl :- ?? ?? �!
Girl :- 1234...
Boy :- Gun Leaves Key Two Hands Car
Girl :- ?? ?? ???? ??!!!
Boy :- ?? ??? ?? ?? ?? ???!

Boy :- ???? ?? ??? ??? ?????? ?? ?? ?
Girl :- Elephant.
Boy :- ?? ???? ?????
Girl:- ?? ??..!
Boy :- ???? ????? ???? ?? ???? ?? ?
Girl :- Hammer.
Boy :- ?? ?? ???? ???
Girl :- ?? ????..!

Boy:- ??????? ??? ?????
Girl:- Palak Tree
Boy:- ?? ?? ???? ???
Girl:- ???.
Girl:- ?? ???? ????? ?????
Boy:- Two Cars.
Girl:- ?? ???? ???
Boy:- ?????.

Boy :- ??? ??? ?????? ???? ?? ?? ????? ????? ?? ?
Girl :- Monkey.
Boy :- ?? ???? ?????
Girl:- ?? ??.
Boy :- ?????? ???? ?? ??? ???? ???? ?
Girl :- Cat.
Boy :- ?? ?? ???? ?
Girl :- ??? ????..!

Different Types of Kisses and Their Meanings Photo SMS

Kiss On The Forehead =>"Forever you Will Be Mine"
Kiss On The Ear =>"I am Romantic"
Kiss On The Cheek =>"We are Friends"
Kiss On The Hand =>"I Adore You"
Kiss On The Neck ->"We Belong Together"
Kiss On The Shoulder =>"I Want You"
Kiss On The Lips =>"I Love You" OR"I Want You" 8)

DO YOU KNOW THE FULL FORM OF KISS & MISS...?
K=KISS
I=IS
S=SO
S=SWEET
M=MISS
I=IS
S=SO
S=SEXY
THAT'S WHY ITS TASTE IS SWEET & SEXY ALWAYS :p

Kiss is not Like Nokia... Connecting People,
Kiss is not Like Nike... Just Do It,
Kiss is not Like Pepsi... Yeh Dil Maange More
But Kiss is Like Pan Parag... Ek Se Mera Kya Hoga :D

Kiss is the Key of Love,
Love is the key of Marriage,
Marriage is the box of Children,
Children are Problem of India,
So Stop the Kissing and Save the India.

What kisses mean!
KISS ON HAND = i Adore You,
KISS ON CHEEK = Lets be Friends,
KISS ON NECK = I want You,
KISS ON LIPS = I Love You,
KISS ANYWHERE ELSE =....
Lets not get Carried away!

Kiss Definition in Physics:-
"Kiss is the process of charging up human Bodies"
Kiss Definition in Computer:-
"Like Bodies are Connected without any DATA CABLE"

Kiss is the First Step to Show
How much I Love You,
how much I Think About You,
How much I miss You,
And show that I Trust You...

Never Kiss a Police Woman,
She will say "Stop and Hands up".
Never Kiss a Nurse, She will Say "Next Please "
Always Kiss a Teacher, She will say "Repeat it 10 Times."

Kiss is Fly from Lips,
Lips is wet also Kiss,
Don't miss a Kiss
It is a valve of This !!!

That First Kiss said to I LOVE YOU,
The Second Kiss said to I will be There,
The Third Kiss said to I am Always Yours.
My Heart Replied, I LOVE YOU TO So Much,
And Then I will never Leave that Moment,
And I will Hug my Dear and Kiss Her !!!

Girl Accepts Your Friend Request on Facebook or Twitter ?

When a Girl Accepts Your Friend Request on Facebook... :?
It means She Accepted Your "Friendship" Not Your "Proposal"...
When a Girl sends you a Friend Request,
It means She wants to be Your Friend not Your Girlfriend :P
When She Tag You,
It means She wants to Share her Thoughts with You,
And not that She's Lost in Your Thoughts..
When she comments on Your status,
It means She's just being Social 'n not Flirting...
When She Like Your Comment,
It means She like Your Comment not You.! :P

Girl Before Finding Her Love She Thought: ;)
He Should Love me More & More Everyday,
He Should Never Let me Sad,
He Should Always Understand me...
He Should be Perfect for me!! 8)

After Finding Her Boyfriend: 8)
So What If He is Not Loving me Unconditional, I Understand & Love him Anyway,
So What If He is Sometimes makes me sad, That is OK, Still He is the Best for me!
So What If He is Not Fully Understanding me, I will Understand Him,
So What If He is Not Perfect, I am Not Perfect too! :P

Girl Asking Question to Her Boy Friend on Twitter :?
If I Reached for your Hand, will You hold it :?
If I Hold out my Arms, will You Hug me :?
If I Go for Your Lips, will You kiss me :?
If I Capture Your Heart, will You Love me :?

To Make Someone Feel Really Very Special, :)
Just Say To Them...
�You are The Chocolate At
The End Of My Cornet�

My Love,
Words However Special...
Could Never Even Start,
To Tell You All The Love,
I have for You within my Heart! 8)

A Candle may Melt,
And Its Fire may Die,
But The Love You Have Given me,
Will Always Stay as a Flame in my Heart ! :)

True Fact or Heart Touching Lines: 8)
When a Girl Cries for a Guy,
It means she Really Misses Him,
But when a Guy cries for a Girl,
It means no 1 can Love that Girl more than Him :)

A Small Boy n Girl were Playing HIDE N SEEK.
She Sent SMS: If You find me, You can Marry me...
If You cant, I wont Tell You that I am hiding Near the Door :P :)

Your Girlfriend is The most Unique Person in your Life, :)
So take the Time to Let her know how much She means to You.
Men Always send Loving or Romantic sms to her Girl Friend.
Because he Always Try to Convince Her and Show His Sincerity and Love !

I Don't know Where I stand with You, :|
& I Don't Know What I mean 2 You,
But All I Know is Every time I think of You Only,
All I wanna do is be with You all Life.

I Will REMEMBER Him,
NOT...
As The One Who BROKE My Heart,
BUT...
As The One Who TAUGHT Me,
HOW......
To LIVE With Broken Heart,
STILL...
LOVE YOU SO MUCH SWEAT HEART 8)

My Eyes are Blind without Your Eyes to See,
Like a Rose without Color,
My Soul is Shattered without Your Arms to Hold me,
Like a Mirror Without a Reflection,
Always be There in My Life Sweetheart. :)

If She is an Apple and You are an Orange,
Celebrate your Differences,
Make a Great Fruit salad,
Love is not About being the same,
Its About being Sweet with each other. :)

My love For You is Like Water, :)
Falling Countless,
The Beating of My Heart, 8)
For You is so Heavy and Soundless,
The Feeling of Being in Your Arm is so
Precious and Endless.

What is Cute Feeling In Love: :)
Girl will be Thinking About Boyfriend,
Suddenly a Message Beeps From Her Mobile Saying,
Honey Stop Thinking About me...
Yah I am Getting Hick-ups. :P

Sometimes, :?
Missing is More Precious than being Together,
Because...
We Miss only Those People Who We Never want to MISS�!!