Funny English Jokes

Boy: Where are you going now?
Girl: For Suicide..
Boy: Then, Why so much Make-up?
Girl: You Idiot... Tomorrow My Photo will come in Newspaper..!

An Old man had 8 hairs on his head.
He went to a Barber shop.
Barber anger and asked:
Shall I cut or count?
Old man smiled and said:
"Colour it!"
LIFE is to enjoy with whatever you have with you.

Boy: I checked yesterday that I don't have any iron in my body
Girl: How did you check?
Boy: I checked with a Magnet, it was not sticking to me..!

Boy: Marry Me..?
Girl: Do you have a House...?
Boy No.
Girl: Do you have a BMW Car..?
Boy: No.
Girl: How much is Your Salary?
Boy: No Salary, But..
Girl: No But... You have Nothing. How can I Marry You? Leave Please!!
Boy: (talking to Himself) I have one Villa, 3 Property Lands, 3 Ferrari's, 3 Porches� Why would I need to have a BMW? How could i get a Salary When I'm the Boss!
& The Girl Lost her Chance.

The Teacher asked for sentence using the Word "beans".
Girl: "My Father Grows beans".
Boy: "My Mother Cooks beans".
Then a Third Child Spoke up and said, "We are all human beans..."

Teacher: Why are you Late Today?
Student: Because of sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Student: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"

Teacher: Correct the Sentence
�A Bull and Cow is Grazing in the Field"
Student: �A Cow and Bull is Grazing in the Field"
Teacher: How?
Student: Because Ladies First. LOL

Funny Bank Jokes Photos

Wife called her husband,
Wife: honey where are you?
Husband: I'm at the bank.
Wife: dear, please I need 3000 rupees to activate my blackberry,
5000 to do my hair and,
10,000 Rupees to buy a dress,
Husband: sorry, I meant I was at the "bank" of a river.
Do you want fish to cook?

A Banta bought a car on loan from a bank. He didn't pay the dues;
The bank took away his car.
Funny Banta: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage also!

A Banta was withdrawing money from ATM.
The Sardar behind him in the line said,
"Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen your password. Its 4 asterisks (****).
The first Banta replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! You are wrong. It�s 1258."

A lady was newly appointed as a clerk in a bank.
The manager of that branch was fond of Literature and books.
He asked the clerk, �Do you know William Shakespeare?" The clerk replied, �No. In which branch is he working?"
After that the manager only asks her about cheques and drafts.

Motu lost his cheque book,
Bank manager: Be careful, anyone can put your sign.
Motu: I am not fool, i have already signed all the cheques.
Please sign the back of the cheque, 'the teller told her, 'as you'd sign a letter.

Banta had a dream in which someone murdered him.
Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank's slogan was:
We make your dreams come true...!

Gang of Motu-Patlu broke a bank, but instead of cash they find
Bottles of chilled red wine...
Happily they drink and left,
Next day headline�
Braking News:-
"Blood Bank Robbed"