Funny Cartoon Doctor Patient Jokes

A Cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Doctor: What salary do you expect?
Nurse: 10,000 ?.
Doctor was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With Pleasure its 25,000 ?.

Lady to the doctor over the phone, �Doctor, I beg of you, please prescribes me something immediately to reduce my weight. My husband has given me a wonderful birthday present, and I can�t get into it.�
Doctor: �Just comes over here tomorrow, and I shall give you a prescription. Then you will soon be able to wear your wonderful new dress.�
Lady: �Who said anything about a dress? I am talking of Car.�

HUSBAND OF THE PATIENT: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
DOCTOR: When the kids are in college . . .!

Doctor: Please take your seat sir. What is your problem??
Patient: Hello Doctor please can you give me your certificate?
Doctor: Why?
Patient: I took 2 weeks leave in my office. They asked me to get a "Doctor Certificate".

Doctor: You should take at least 10 Glasses of water every day.
Patient: It is Impossible.
Doctor: Why?
Patient: I have only 4 Glasses at home..!

The doctor told a Patient that if he ran Eight kilometres a day for 200 days, he would lose 34 kg. After 200 days, the patient called the doctor to report he had lost weight, but he had a problem.
Doctor: 'What is the Problem?'
Patient: 'I am 1600 kms. from home.'

Patient: I will be fine after the operation, right?
Doctor: yes. But the operation is very complicated. Nine out of ten people die after this operation.
Patient: What? Then how come you are getting sure about my safety?
Doctor: Maybe you are the luckiest tenth person...!

Doctor to Patient: You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient: Yes. A Good Doctor.