Funny English Jokes

Boy: Where are you going now?
Girl: For Suicide..
Boy: Then, Why so much Make-up?
Girl: You Idiot... Tomorrow My Photo will come in Newspaper..!

An Old man had 8 hairs on his head.
He went to a Barber shop.
Barber anger and asked:
Shall I cut or count?
Old man smiled and said:
"Colour it!"
LIFE is to enjoy with whatever you have with you.

Boy: I checked yesterday that I don't have any iron in my body
Girl: How did you check?
Boy: I checked with a Magnet, it was not sticking to me..!

Boy: Marry Me..?
Girl: Do you have a House...?
Boy No.
Girl: Do you have a BMW Car..?
Boy: No.
Girl: How much is Your Salary?
Boy: No Salary, But..
Girl: No But... You have Nothing. How can I Marry You? Leave Please!!
Boy: (talking to Himself) I have one Villa, 3 Property Lands, 3 Ferrari's, 3 Porches� Why would I need to have a BMW? How could i get a Salary When I'm the Boss!
& The Girl Lost her Chance.

The Teacher asked for sentence using the Word "beans".
Girl: "My Father Grows beans".
Boy: "My Mother Cooks beans".
Then a Third Child Spoke up and said, "We are all human beans..."

Teacher: Why are you Late Today?
Student: Because of sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Student: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"

Teacher: Correct the Sentence
�A Bull and Cow is Grazing in the Field"
Student: �A Cow and Bull is Grazing in the Field"
Teacher: How?
Student: Because Ladies First. LOL